Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
