I can't watch pbs sober anymore
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
