He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
