Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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