The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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