I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Barsexuality is the new black.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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