did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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