She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
