turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
