Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
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Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
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I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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