"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
