You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
