yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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