Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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