I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
