I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
