I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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