gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
