im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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