1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
