Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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