You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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