This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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