The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
