i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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