I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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