did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
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But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
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My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm really busy with my period
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