We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
