Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
