Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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