Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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