you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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