i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
