so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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