That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
