Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize