A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
