do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Randomize
