The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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