goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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