I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
