i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
