I can tuck mytits in my pants
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
