I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
