lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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