I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
