then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
