WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize