it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
