I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
