his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
