all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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