I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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