I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
