She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
