am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
